


Examine Me, Tell Me What You Find

by humanities_angstiest



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bottom Eren Yeager, Developing Relationship, Doctor/Patient, Eren Yeager's First Time, First Time Bottoming, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Porn With Plot, Smut, Top Jean Kirstein, but i much prefer it with both, doctor!Jean, if you haven’t gotten the memo yet i fucking love caring jean and scared eren, is it working?, more like plot with a poor attempt at porn, patient!Eren, tagging a bunch of similar shit to attract more readers, this wasn’t supposed to develop feelings or plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-29
Updated: 2016-08-29
Packaged: 2018-08-11 17:17:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7901122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/humanities_angstiest/pseuds/humanities_angstiest
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eren is terrified of having a prostate exam. No way does he want some old doctor’s finger up his ass. Only it isn’t an old doctor that enters his room. It’s Jean Kirschtein. Fucking great. Or: Fucking. Great ;)</p><p>Alternatively titled: “What’s up Doc?” “Your dick"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Examine Me, Tell Me What You Find

It was your standard doctors office: pale walls lined with fabric padded seats, an aquarium and monochrome photographs adding pedestrian personality to the otherwise clinical space, and the window separating the patients from the secretaries. Eren approaches the window like he’s walking the plank, not wanting to move forward but having no choice in the matter, and gives his name to the secretary. Yes, he still lives in Apartment 147E at Sina Village. Yes, his number is still 789-625-8413. Yes, MP is still his insurance provider, and a shitty one at that. He accepts the clipboard the secretary hands him and sits in one of the padded chairs to fill out the forms, checking off that he has no allergies, is not pregnant to the best of his knowledge, and received the yearly vaccinations.

Across the room is an irritated older gentleman, glowering at the mother and child seated by the fish tank. The bug-eyed girl is speaking in a high pitched voice to the fish, asking them questions they won’t ever answer in a seemingly never-ending stream of chatter until she interrupts herself with a hacking cough. The girl doesn't cough into her arm or even her hand, though that would still be gross, but not nearly as gross as her mucus cough entering the other patients' breathing air and a few moist drops splattering on the fish tank, scaring the fish into hiding behind a plastic bonsai tree.

Eren subtly scoots to the side of his seat, putting as much distance as he can between himself and the sick child. Why the girl is here at a doctors office and not a pediatric office is a mystery. Then the mother's name is called and Eren watches the woman blow her nose into a tissue before calling for her daughter Han, maybe a nickname for Hannah, to come along. If Eren is lucky, the girl is carrying a plague that she will transmit to the doctors. With all the doctors suddenly falling ill, the patients will be sent home and the office will shut down for the next sixty years, because sixty years is the earliest Eren will possibly be ready for this appointment. Knowing his sister, all the doctors in the city being ill with a mysterious plague won’t make a difference. Mikasa will still find a way for him to have a prostate exam.

It is not too long after the mother and daughter pass through the door leading to the examination rooms that another nurse opens it, calling Eren’s name with a questioning lilt. Eren meets the blue eyes of the blonde, petite nurse waiting in the doorway. He stands up slowly and unwillingly follows the smiling nurse to an empty room down the hall. She closes the door behind him, enhancing the feeling that he is being held against his will even though he walked through the office doors with his own two feet, and seats herself in front of the computer, pulling up his medical record.

"My name is Christa and I'll be your nurse. Did you finish filling out the forms?" Her voice is pleasant and soft, not irritatingly chipper as her appearance leads one to assume. Eren says he has and passes the clipboard to the nurse's outstretched hand.

"You're here for a prostate exam?" Christa asks, surprised.

Eren squirms in his seat, not wanting to be here and definitely not discussing the reason with a young female nurse. "Uh, yeah" he says before asking, "Why?," wondering why the nurse sounds shocked. She is a nurse after all, she must see these appointments all the time.

"Oh, nothing. It's just that most men don't get a prostate exam until they are in their fifties at least."

“What?!" Eren’s eyes are wide, and his shock leads Christa to follow up with, "Did you not know?"

"No. My sister watched _one_ documentary and then worried I could have cancer and not know until it was too late to treat it, so she forced me to make an appointment."

"Ah. Well, uh, it never hurts to be cautious." They drop the topic and Christa reads his form, verifying orally that he has no allergies, especially to latex. Christa leaves after informing him that his doctor will be in shortly and he can change into the hospital robe on the examination table.

Eren folds his clothes and sets them on one of the two chairs pressed against the wall, putting on the hospital gown with the open back baring his backside and his dignity. At least it will be some old guy who fingers him, no chance of him accidentally getting hard there. Still, he is going to have some old guy's finger up his ass and he could've waited another twenty-five years at least. Thanks, Mikasa.

Eren sits on the examination table and swings his legs idly, hands folded in his lap as he tries to think about anything other than what he is here for. He has a three second warning after hearing a knock on the door before the doctor strides in. Instead of the wrinkly old doctor Eren is expecting, this doctor is his age. Even worse, he knows this doctor.

“Jean?!”

“Eren?!"

"What the fuck-“

"You're the patient-“

"-are you doing here?!”

"-that wanted a prostate exam?!”

Eren crosses his arms and glares at his high school rival who is looking him up and down in the thin hospital gown. “You first. What the fuck are you doing here?"

"I work here. I'm a urologist. What are you doing here? You know prostate exams aren't necessary until your fifties, right?"

"I know now, thanks. Fucking Mikasa," Eren mutters.

Ah, that makes sense, Jean thinks. She always was overprotective of her younger brother. Being an only child, Jean secretly envied their sibling bond, but he can’t say he appreciates it in this moment since it’s that same bond making him give a prostate exam to Eren Jaeger. The good thing about Jean’s field is that there is a close to 0% chance he will treat someone he knows. At least, that was the good thing about it. Jean buries his disinclination and returns to a professional manner, sitting at the computer and reviewing the notes Christa left him.

"Lie down on your stomach, please," Jean instructs. Eren snorts, but does as “Dr. Kirschtein" says. That doesn’t mean Eren is going to accept the situation lying down (even though he is now lying on the examination table).

"Figures you'd become a urologist. S’the only way you’d ever see someone else’s genitals."

Jean whips around in his seat to scowl at Eren. “Oh yeah? And what about you? Are you really that desperate for someone to finger you that you pretended not to know the normal age for a prostate exam?"

That shuts Eren up. Good.

No, it’s not, Jean reminds himself, mentally sighing. He can't let Eren rile him up like in high school. Eren is his patient now and Jean has to treat him like one.

"Sorry, that was unprofessional of me.”

It seems Eren has matured as well, because he says, “No, I’m sorry. I started it. I’m just…really nervous. I think I was subconsciously hoping we’d get in a fight like old times and I’d get kicked out, so then I could use that as an excuse for why I didn’t get the exam when Mikasa asks me.”

Jean nods, a show of understanding as much as a reflex response when someone is speaking to him. And really, he can understand where Eren is coming from. The brunet is probably scared and embarrassed about having someone’s finger up his ass, and those feelings only intensified when he discovered he knows the owner of the finger going up that private place. If Jean was in Eren’s position, he’d be shitting himself. But not really, because now would be the worst time to shit oneself. Jean hopes Eren isn’t shitting himself. For both their sakes, Jean resolves to be as comforting as possible.

“It won’t take long. And I promise it won’t hurt, though it might feel a bit uncomfortable.”

Eren hesitantly bobs his head, wanting to believe Jean, but he is staring at Jean’s hands and visualizing those long, bony fingers entering his ass. Eren did his best to clean around that area this morning, but now he is second-guessing if he did a good enough job. Was he supposed to clean in there? Oh god, he hopes he cleaned well enough. The only thing more mortifying than Jean’s finger up his ass is Jean’s finger up his dirty ass. There are a million ways this can go horribly for him. The list keeps growing, unintentional farting being added to the top of his concerns.

"Can I begin?"

Eren’s eyes dart to the closed door, but then he lets out a deep breath and nods. Jean stays in Eren's sights as he pulls on a clean pair of latex gloves then pours lube on his fingers, rubbing them together to warm the liquid up. He moves slowly for Eren’s sake and pushes aside what little of the hospital gown still covers Eren's round ass. Eren tenses partly from the cold air on his skin and partly from residual nerves.

Jean uses his lube-free hand to rub soothing circles into Eren's lower back, hoping the gentle touch will relax Eren, and it does. It is a strange compulsion that makes him do it, Jean never does this for his other patients, but seeing Eren anxious makes him less of the argumentative asshole from Jean’s memories and more of…Well, Jean doesn't know. It just makes Eren more.

With his lubed hand, Jean traces the crack of Eren's ass, getting Eren used to the feeling of his finger near the intended area. A shiver works it's way from Eren's head to his toes.

"I'll be gentle," Jean reassures as he circles the puckered flesh of Eren's surprisingly hairless hole. His index finger wiggles past the first ring of muscle then stops, letting Eren adjust to the sensation of taking a backwards shit. Jean pushes in to his second knuckle before stopping and waiting again. He does this until his entire finger is inside. Jean glances at Eren's face to see how he is doing. Eren's eyes are shut and his brow is furrowed, his lower lip held captive by his teeth.

This is Jean, Eren reminds himself. The mantra doesn't convince his body, his cock slowly hardening under his robe. Eren clenches his hands at his sides as he fights the pleasurable feeling of Jean’s finger stroking his inner walls.

Eren knows that the prostate is the male version of a g-spot. He knows it is normal to react to it being touched, but he hadn’t realized just how good it felt. Throughout college he only had flings, quick fucks who prepped themselves for him, and he never experienced the other side of things. That was a mistake.

Eren tries to convince himself that he would react to his prostate being touched by anyone, but that doesn’t explain why it is Jean he is picturing in his mind, Jean’s name on the tip of his tongue. The best explanation he comes up with in his mind-muddled state is that Jean is making the experience as physically and emotionally painless as possible for him and for that he is grateful, those feelings translating to a liking of Jean, and thus the kindling fire in his groin being associated with Jean.

Eren is desperately repressing fantasies of a certain amber-eyed doctor when a feather light touch against a nub inside him has him keening, shamelessly pushing back on Jean's finger to seek out that feeling again before abruptly stopping when he realizes what he is doing. Eren waits for Jean to mock him, but Jean says nothing about the action.

Jean slips his finger out of Eren’s ass and tosses his gloves in the trash as Eren moves into a sitting position, ensuring that his hands are clasped in front of him so Jean won’t notice the saluting appendage in his lap.

"Good news. There are no irregular lumps in your rectum so you don't have prostate cancer. Come back when you're fifty."

“That's it?"

Jean casts Eren a look of amused confusion. “What, did you think I was going to put my whole hand up there?" he jokes.

Eren's response is not the embarrassed, indignant anger Jean expects. "It doesn't hurt to be thorough," Eren mumbles, and it’s like a game of Pac Man, the way Jean follows the dots and his eyes fall to Eren's hands covering his lap.

“O-oh! Um…Eren, are you…?" Jean flails, trying to find the appropriate response to Eren’s boner that won't cause Eren to punch him or feel ashamed.

"This happens a lot. It's a completely normal reaction. The prostate is a pleasure center, after all." For the second time today Jean is going above and beyond to put a patient, Eren specifically, at ease, and he has no fucking clue why. Okay, if he’s being honest, it may have been a little cute how the fearless Eren Jaeger was scared of a simple prostate exam. And fuck it if Eren showing vulnerability for once, to him of all people, did something to Jean, awakening a desire to protect the brunet.  
   
Jean's mouth moves on autopilot before his brain catches up. "If you want, I can help you take care of that so you don't have to walk through the waiting room sporting a boner.”

Eren gapes at Jean, not expecting that response in the slightest. Jean sits frozen, not expecting that response to come out of his mouth either. What a terrible thing to say. First off, he doesn’t even know if Eren’s gay. Eren could have a boner because Jean was prodding his prostate. But second, and this is the part that has Jean ready to bite off his tongue, is that he’s Eren’s doctor. Eren is more likely to punch him than sue him for sexual harassment, but the possibility still has Jean ready to pee his pants in trepidation.

“Um, okay. Yeah,” Eren quietly agrees, nervously rubbing the back of his neck. He didn’t mean to speak aloud earlier, and almost punched himself in the face for it, but if Jean isn’t going to mock him, is even going to help him…Well then.

After Eren agrees, placing them equally in the awkward situation, Jean regains control, forming a plan and acting on it. "Take off the gown," Jean orders, watching attentively as Eren does just that with a small shiver of anticipation, letting the thin cloth slip off his shoulders and pool on the floor, revealing Eren’s thin but solid frame.

Four steps carry Jean across the room towards Eren, in a manner Eren thinks is too relaxed considering everything that has already occurred and is about to occur, but inside Jean is freaking out as much as Eren is. Eren lowers his gaze to the floor, making Jean pause. Jean waits until Eren looks him in the eye and reaffirms that Jean has permission to touch him, that Eren wants him to. Only then does Jean raise his hands to rest on Eren’s firm thighs, rubbing circles with his thumbs into the soft skin. Eren attempts to stay still but fails, squirming a little and causing his erection to graze Jean's finger. The tip of Jean's nail brushes that sensitive spot along his vein and Eren sucks in a shallow breath, tipping his head back as his eyes flutter shut.

"Um..."

Eren opens his eyes. "Why did you stop?" Jean had taken a step back and is biting his lip.

"Sorry, I just...thought about kissing you, but that's probably too personal and—“

"You can kiss me. If you want," Eren says, mumbling the last part because he too isn't sure what the boundaries are, only knowing that Jean’s touch feels good and Jean isn't as annoying as he was in high school and at this point Eren'll say anything for Jean to move closer and put his hands back on him.

"Yeah?" Jean says as he approaches Eren again, placing his left hand on the side of Eren's face. Eren leans into it before Jean slides his hand down to Eren's chin, tilting Eren’s head back as he dips down, slotting his lips with Eren's for a slow kiss, too affectionate for what they are to each other, which is nothing in the present but doctor and patient.

The kiss heats up, lips pressing together insistently and mouths opening to steal back the breath being taken away, Eren scooting forward on the examination table so his lower half is closer to Jean's. A needy whine from Eren reminds Jean that Eren is hard beneath him, and he realizes he is half hard himself. Jean is proud of himself for thinking to lock the door, preventing the unfortunate possibility of Christa walking in on them. Then he is lip-locked with Eren again before pushing on Eren's shoulders to get the brunet to lie down on his back with his knees bent. Jean pushes against Eren's knees in a silent ask for him to open his legs wider but the touch is gentle, giving Eren the choice of whether to open up or not. Eren surprisingly does, but Jean figures he should stop being surprised at this point and just move on with the fucking. He slides his hands down Eren's legs to the curve of Eren’s ass and uses his grip to pull Eren to the edge of the table. Eren makes no complaint, even going so far as to shut his eyes and place himself entirely in Jean's care.

It's Eren's own fault for shutting his eyes and then being startled when Jean's tongue laps at his hole before darting in and out.

"J-Jean!"

Jean ignores the gasping, continuing to lick at Eren's walls and knead his plush ass in his hands.

"Fuck!" Eren would have to apologize again for what he said to Jean earlier. There was no way Jean had a problem getting any with this technique. Eren isn't doing anything to prove Jean's statement wrong though. It was completely wrong - no way did Eren come here to have his prostate played with. This is just a strange, unexpected, entirely welcome bonus.

Eren's mewls are going straight to Jean's groin and he takes one hand off of Eren's ass to rub himself through his scrubs.

"Do you have a condom?"

Jean removes his tongue from Eren's ass to answer. “A condom? What for?"

Eren scoffs. "I'm not letting you stick your dick in me without a condom. Ever heard of STD’s, doctor?”

"We're having sex?"

Eren leans up on his elbows so he can look through his legs at Jean. "What the fuck did you think we were doing?"

"I thought I was getting you off so you could leave here with your pride."

Eren narrows his eyes at Jean, affronted. "And you thought I was going to make you go the rest of your work day with your own boner? You must really think low of me."

Does Eren look saddened by that? Yes. Does Jean care? Surprisingly, or not so surprisingly as today’s events have shown, yes.

"I didn't want to assume anything. I offered to help you, you're under no obligation to do the same for me if you don't want to."

Eren tilts his head down slightly and looks up from under his lashes. "And if I want to?” Eren watches Jean's adams apple bob as he swallows.

"You can put it in if you have a condom. And if you think your dick will work as well as your finger."

It seems that some things don't change and like in the past, Jean will not back down from one of Eren's challenges. Eren is betting on this, Jean can tell, and that makes him chuckle to himself, glad to know Eren wants this as much as he does.

"You were worried about a single finger going up your ass, and now you're asking for a dick?" Jean teases Eren, remembering how he shivered with nerves at the start of his prostate exam.

Eren purses his lips, having nothing to say in his defense, and Jean laughs, reaching for the jar of free condoms on the desk and handing one to Eren for easy clean up as he rolls one on himself. Eren's eyes crinkle as his lips turn upwards. Then Jean's breath catches, because he and Eren are acting comfortable with each other, baring themselves in front of each other like they are practiced lovers and not essentially strangers. And what's scarier is that Jean isn't acting and he doesn’t think Eren is either.

Honestly, Jean can't say he knew Eren well in high school. Their personalities clashed, Eren’s loudmouth behavior grating on Jean, whose pompous attitude riled Eren. They handled their annoyance with a few fist fights before learning there was more to the other person, but by then it was too late to concede they were wrong. Instead they found it more enjoyable to issue challenges, competing to see who would back out first. Now they're both older, arguably more mature, and definitely more experienced (not that Jean ever thought of Eren in that way back then, definitely not. He didn’t. Fleeting thoughts of ‘what if’ don’t count.).

Eren's smile wavers watching Jean’s laughing eyes turn serious, as he knows his expression should be. They aren’t friends, this is just a mutual getting-off. Eren needs to remember that. An uncomfortable feeling settles inside his chest and his erection begins to fade. What is he even thinking, opening himself up for Jean of all people? Eren is about to make an excuse for why he has to suddenly leave, or not make an excuse at all and run from the room, but Jean notices his penis drooping and decides to fix it by sticking his finger back up Eren's ass. Eren's not sure when Jean lubed his fingers, but he isn't able to ask, and definitely not able to leave, as Jean immediately finds and hits his prostate repeatedly, the intense pleasure nearly blacking out his vision.

Jean opens Eren up efficiently. This appointment has gone on longer than is normal and Jean has other patients to see, but he makes sure Eren can accept three fingers comfortably, holding Eren’s hand for the brunet to squeeze when the painful stretch makes him cry out.

When Eren is prepped, Jean asks, ”How do you want to do this?" Jean is running through all the positions he knows in his head, searching for something that will work on the narrow examination table.

"Sit down. I'm going to ride you." Eren pushes Jean back as he sits up and Jean's fingers slip out, leaving him empty. Eren doesn’t know any contortionist positions and wouldn’t try them if he did. All he knows is that he isn’t the type to leave everything in Jean’s proven capable hands.

Eren hops off the table and steers Jean into one of the chairs, Jean moving along in a daze as Eren's determined eyes make promises Jean knows he will keep. Eren assists Jean in pulling his scrubs down to release his aching cock, then Jean plants his bare bottom in the chair. Eren spreads his legs on either side of Jean's thighs and lowers himself down, stopping when Jean's hard cock pokes at his entrance and giving Jean a nervous glance, though Jean is sure Eren didn't mean to reveal his residual fear.

"I'll help you." Jean grips one of Eren’s hands in his own and places his other hand on Eren's hip, brushing his thumb up and down Eren’s hipbone as he patiently waits for Eren to be ready. Eren lowers again and his face scrunches up as Jean's cock fills him inch by inch. Jean badly wants to close his eyes and moan at the warm heat surrounding him, but he keeps his gaze locked with Eren's and smiles softly, murmuring words of encouragement.

Once Eren's ass meets Jean's thighs, all of Jean inside him, Eren takes a few minutes to adjust to the feeling before he moves. Jean tries to warn him that he should take it slow his first time but loses the chance as Eren wastes no time building a rhythm, raising up and dropping down on Jean with little regard to Jean under him, trying to get Jean to hit that sweet spot. Jean doesn't mind, getting lost in the way Eren is bouncing on his lap.

"F-fuck...Why did I never do this before."

Jean knew from the start that Eren had never taken anything because he was scared of a simple prostate exam, but hearing Eren say it stabs into Jean the realization that Eren is bottoming, right now, with him. He is Eren's first bottom experience. And damn it if he isn't going to make it memorable.

Jean lifts his hips as Eren drops down, sending himself deeper into Eren and making Eren scream as his prostate is hit. Eren grips Jean’s shoulders, keeping himself from falling off Jean’s lap from the frenetic pace they’ve built. There is no time to take things slow, both aware in the back of their minds that they are not in a private setting with bountiful time to bring themselves to the edge before backing off and approaching again, like animals tentatively crossing a road. More of Jean’s upward, spearing thrusts and Eren is sent over the edge, the spasming of his walls causing Jean to follow not long after. Spent, Eren collapses against Jean, resting his head on Jean's shoulder as his chest heaves. Like Eren, Jean is caught up in the afterglow, not realizing how intimate his actions are as he cards his hand through Eren's hair. When his breathing returns to normal, Jean drops his hand and sits up as much as he is able with Eren’s weight pressing down on his chest. He taps Eren on the side, signaling him to get up.

"I have other appointments and I'm positive I'm late for one already."

"Oh."

Eren scrambles off Jean's lap, letting the man beneath him stand. They roll off their condoms, tossing them in the trash which Jean ties up so he can dispose of it himself to hide the evidence of what happened in this room. Meanwhile, Eren spins in circles looking for where he placed his clothes and avoiding eye contact with Jean. He recalls that his clothes are in the chair next to Jean, who passes them to him. Their fingers brush and Eren jumps back from the contact.

"I'll leave you to get dressed."

"Y-yeah." Eren turns away and holds his clothes to his chest not looking at Jean as he leaves, so he doesn’t see Jean pause in the doorway with his mouth open like he’s about to say something before he exits the room with one last look at Eren’s back.

Eren dresses slowly despite wanting to get out of this building as fast as possible, needing a moment to suffocate his emotions. Yes, he had sex with Jean Kirschtein and it was amazing and Jean left afterwards because Jean has a job to do now that he’s done Eren. It’s nothing shocking; Eren’s sex life mostly consists of flings like this where he fucks then fucks off. There is no reason for his throat to feel tight.

Eren opens the door and hobbles down the hall to the check-out desk, hoping no one notices his limp.

"Would you like to schedule your next appointment?"

"No, thank you."

"You're not coming back? I knew it."

Eren spins around to see Jean leaning against the wall, dressed in jeans and a button down. Jean pushes off the wall and approaches Eren.

"I figured if I gave you my number you would stare at it, not sure what to do, before deciding to do nothing and then avoid me for the rest of our lives." Eren is impressed that Jean read him so well, because that is exactly what he would do. He is already planning on avoiding this place like it's a cockroach-infested McDonald’s full of people with personal space issues.

"So instead, I'm going to take you on a date tonight. I've cancelled my appointments for the rest of the day so I can drive you home," Jean gives Eren a meaningful glance, smirking, and Eren knows he saw him limp out of the room, "and then we're going out for dinner.”

Eren doesn’t answer immediately, busy processing Jean’s words. "And then what?” Maybe this is Jean’s gentlemanly manners taking effect, not feeling right unless he treats Eren to a meal as compensation.

"Who knows? We'll go on a date tonight, and then another date if you're free next week, and we'll keep learning about each other and see where it goes from there. Unless you're scared for some reason..."

A grin spreads slowly on Eren’s lips, revealing teeth. No way is he backing down from Jean's challenge.

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave kudos or comments if you enjoyed! Thank you!


End file.
